Implements of Disaster
As many spankers know, walking through a hardware, sporting goods or kitchen utensile store can be an inspirational experience. One can find a veritable cornucopia of toys suitable for thrashing a deserving bottom, and it can be a frabjous day when one discovers some new item that can be subverted from its intended purpose!
But the day will fail to be frabjous if your new toy fails, or worse, injures that pretty bottom you so love to smack. We've all tried toys that didn't work, and some of them failed spectacularly. Here I am beginning a list of bad spanking toys, so that we might spare others the disappointment and possible bloodletting of making the same mistake. Please, if you have also found a bad toy, email me and I will add it to this list! Likewise, if you have found a way to use one of these bad toys successfully, let me know and I'll add in the caveat.
Carpet Beater- They look like they were made for thrashing, and indeed they were, but bottoms are much more sensitive than rugs. The uneven surface of these things makes them a bad toy, unless you are just using them playfully over jeans.
Bath Brush- Specifically the kind with semi-soft bristles, designed for scrubbing one's back or other parts in the tub. I discovered to my horror that when used as a thrashing implement, all those tiny bristles can actually puncture the skin, drawing blood from a thousand tiny wounds!
Plastic Cutting Board- A friend recently found the downside of these, and a bottom was temporarily damaged. The surface of these cutting boards is textured. It doesn't feel especially rough to the touch, but when impacting tender heinie-flesh, that texturing has an abraiding effect. Watch out for texture in any spanking implement.
Frat Paddles- Not necessarily bad, per se, but they really aren't made to be used, so examine them carefully, use them wisely. If they aren't finished, or the edges aren't sanded, or if there's do-dads glued to them, they may be dangerous. And they're nearly always too thick and heavy for most bottoms.
Loopy Johnny- I'm not sure what's wrong with these, but I've heard the ladies complain about them so many times that I simply take it as a given that they're bad.
Ping Pong Paddles- Actually, ping pong paddles are great, it's the rubber pads on them that make them bad toys. I've seen a couple of them with smooth rubber pads, and that's fine too, but the textured rubber will abraid the tender flesh of the bare bottom. You have to take the rubber pads off them and sand them a bit, then they are okay... until they break.
Serving Spoons- Again, not all bad, but caution is advised. The concave side should never be used, and the convex side may bruise. A serving spoon is suitable for spanking if it doesn't have too much convexity and isn't too rough, and if it has holes or slots, make sure they don't have sharp edges.
